By: Pekuna Hong

3pm September 3rd

I had just picked up the kids at school and felt a few contractions on the way home from school thinking oh, those were good. It was so hot and muggy and the beaches were still influxing with manowar so I felt maybe some fresh water and a good walk was just what we needed, and we needed to go holoholo for some Mamaki for after birth stock anyway. Contractions got a little more intense so I got worried because Season’s birth went so fast. From waking up at night to having birthed a baby in 1 hour 20 minutes. But I knew this baby wasn’t going to be exactly the same so I slowed down and listened.

I sat in the rocking chair and they got more intense as the kids prepped for going holoholo. Steve looked at me and smiled an excited smile but we were also like what do we do?! I lied down on the bed and shut my eyes and asked my body what it was doing. 20 minutes in and I hopped up and said, “We go!”

4pm

Our hike was all up hill and my contractions were building in intensity. Steve kept looking over at me for a sign that we should go back. But I was determined to get a little adventure in and tire the kids out a little. So much of early labor seems like a head game to me, and I feel like I still have so much control. By the time we were headed down I was contracting pretty intense every 2.5 minutes. But it didn’t feel like THE contractions yet.

6pm

We had prepped mochiko chicken for dinner. And I really wanted to eat. So I lied in bed for an hour letting the contractions roll through and came to the decision that I wanted to eat dinner and sleep that night. I wanted a day birth! It would be so much easier to have the kids jump out of bed and come if it wasn’t at night, and I really wanted to let my food settle and not have to throw up mid-labor, which really was what made eating my hugest indecision. So it was then I decided. Body, REST. After a minute I slowly melted out of the bed and into the kitchen. Ah dinner was sooooo good.

9pm

Season was sooooooo restless tonight, which made me know it was happening soon. He goes through periods of super active brain activity and it gets hard for him to sit still and he talks about all kinds of things that come to his mind. So tonight it was hard for him to settle down. 9:30 came around and he was still rolling around on the ground, unable to even focus through a book (which usually is all it takes to get him to sleep). Finally he fell asleep and it was just what we needed to motivate us to crash out too instead of cleaning like crazy and zoning out on social media. Through the night I was aware of a few contractions that kept me from deeper sleep, not that I had had much of that all pregnancy, or in the last 12 years anyway lol.

4:30am September 4th

I had a good contraction and it lasted longer than a minute and got my butt out of bed. I went in the living room on all fours and let a few contractions roll through. Okkkk, these were the ones. The ones that make you remember you have to breath. The ones that you need to move through. The ones that make you sing. They were still 5 minutes apart so I had time to prep my camera between contractions, text my birth photographer and videographer/doula and double check my bags.

5:15

I always know I’m ready when I am stuck on the toilet. It’s the worst feeling knowing you’re ready for something but you can’t move. As soon as I could get up for a second I tapped Steve hard and he shot up out of bed. Turned the lights on so the kids got up, which thanks to all our early sunrise adventures was easy for them. It got intense enough where I needed to hold onto Steve as I went into contractions. I remember it getting intense on the toilet and groaning really loud and Steve shooshing me as I buried my face into him because he didn’t want the kids to wake up. It’s so funny those little things you remember. Me thinking freck I’ll groan if I need to! Now I was in the kitchen on the padded bench on all fours through every contraction. Steve showing the kids where to put pressure on my back and it was a flurry of trying to get out the door. He made his coffee and as soon as I felt like I had a break we flew out the door with the older three kids, my mom was going to bring the babies because I wanted them all there.

5:40am

We were walking as fast as I could go to the car. All five of us. It must’ve been a sight to see if it wasn’t so dark. I remember walking out with the kids in stride with me imagining the three witches in Hocus Pocus when they are all walking together in their power. I just love the imagery of it all! I just had a pareo tied over my bra and panty. They were carrying our two bags and Daddy went down to get the car. We live at an apartment and the walk down to our car is long, which is why we were ʻtrying’ to run. The kids knew we were on mid-contraction time. But boom, halfway there and I was on all fours in the middle of the sidewalk. Sunny pressing my back and me saying, “Harder Sunny” under my breath. Then saying, “Ok” and we were running again. Then we scooted into the car. Me on all fours in the middle row of seats. Sunny pressing my back from the back seat as we drove over the H-3. Listening to their conversations of excited apprehension. “So Dad you did this 6 times huh?” “Yahp” Always sure calm confidence in his voice. Semi-annoying haha.

6ish

When we got there Daddy pulled in and ran in to get a wheelchair. I was on my knees facing the back of the wheelchair. Shore pushed and Sunny and Kaio ran behind us. Yet again amazing imagery I am engraving in my memory of her in her superman shirt that has a cape. My head was down but when I looked ahead I could see her cape flying behind her, an excited smile on her face, her curls bouncing around…Sunny smiling next to her, watching me with those eyes… and it could only bring a smile to my face. I remember being mid-contraction in the lobby as we rushed into the elevator and Shore yelled at Kaio to hurry up because he was so predictably lagging 20 steps behind us. And I looked up to see him trying to rush but not run, too cool to run. Tossing his hair off to the side in exasperation, leaning his head to one side as he tried to walk as fast as he could. Listening to them talk to each other about where they’re supposed to go. Laughing excitedly with each other, I could feel their proud smiles as they ran me into labor and delivery. I was so proud of my kids in that moment. I can still remember the thought running through my mind “Man, my kids are so freckin amazing…”

Then it was monitors and checking. 8cm. We had the nurse we had with our other babies births, Krystle, and Midwife Connie. Such an amazing team. And even though they knew I don’t do the hep-lock, they asked. Didn’t guilt trip me, didn’t try to persuade me. Just told me my options and what would happen in emergency scenarios if I chose those options without judgement in their voices.

I started having super long lulls in the middle of the contractions. And I just rested with my face down. I could hear the babies come in with my Mom. I had only had about 3 contractions since I got here. Then Lindsay my birth photographer and Kehau my friend/doula who was capturing video for me on my camera, arrived. Everyone was here. Ok. Another contraction. Shore, Kaio, Sunny and Steve all worked my back and feet. Krystle was on my shoulders directing me where to relax and soften, keeping my breathing and noise controlled and focused. It was just what I needed. Everyones hands on me. It was just pure bliss. There was a loooong break. I just lied there and listened to the sounds of everyone in the room. I could feel the quiet anxious stares between Shore and Kaio as they rubbed my back. I could hear Tutu reading to Season. Quiet giggles melodiously filling this room, making it “home” for just a little while. The light streaming in on all of us as the sun started to rise over Halawa. It filled my heart so much. Everyone here with me. And I melted into the pillow on my face and relished in this lull. This one was long and the longer I enjoyed it, the more I knew it would be an amazing intense contraction following.

Then it came. All those feelings before washed away…All I could feel and see were waves running through me, and I couldn’t help but press down into my knees and my water broke. And I whispered under my breath, “Oh shit, my water.” And then there was a flurry of action as the contraction kept going and I had so much restless energy I didn’t know what to do with, I felt like a shark thrashing in the shoreline and imagined them when they come to shore and give birth.

I felt a huge shift and I knew baby was coming down even though I wasn’t pushing. The contraction kept coming, Then I heard, “I see black hair!” And then Steve was next to my face telling me to breathe she was crowning. “Not too fast babe, baby’s almost here…” I wasn’t pushing, I was just grounding myself into my hands and knees, curling up trying to not let her go too fast. I was excited, but scared that this moment was here, so many feelings coursing through me at this moment when baby was leaving me, as her kupuna passed her off from their care to ours. At every birth I imagine them all at that moment behind me, all of their hands holding her out to me saying are you ready? It’s such a huge kuleana? Are you ready. No. Am I? Are we? Yes. I curled up and let her descend. I was already crying….Then I heard her cry. She was still in me and I gave a little push and felt her warmness leave me. I was sobbing as I did with all my babies as I felt them leave me.

I heard Shore say it’s a boy! Then, no wait, it’s a girl! She had woken up this morning having just dreamed it was a boy and when baby came out the umbilical chord was sticking out between baby’s legs so it looked like a boy. Then they all shouted harmoniously, “It’s a girl!” And there she was. Covered in vernix, crying. I heard Shore say 6:58… 6:58 a little louder.

Story, named by her biggest sister Shore as we drove home over the H-3 from one of her oncology check-ups one afternoon during our first trimester, staring out over Ahu o Laka, at Heeia where I grew up. Bella after her Daddy’s Grandma Isabella and Rose after my Grandma Primrose. Story-BellaRose

7am

Then they were all around me, like musical chairs. I was suddenly so aware of all of them. Like I had an eye on each of them. Everyone moving slowly. Kissing her. Feeling her. I looked up at their eyes all staring at their little sister. I looked down and saw all their hands on her. An image I will never forget. Fingers and hands with olena and indigo dye, nail polish half on, dirt under their nails. The realness of their hands all over this new life. And even though I cringed at how dirty their nails were it was so incredibly beautiful. The oooooooooooo’s and aaaaaaaawww’s. The warmth surrounding me in those moments of pure bliss. It was the moment that reminds someone who yells day in and day out at their kids, who overthinks everything and constantly questions if I’m making good decisions for my kids… that I am doing an amazing job. And our life is so beyond beautiful and our future is bright because of them. And, I felt like the luckiest person alive.

Images by Lindsay Amaral

Images by lindsayamaralphoto.com

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